Hello there! Welcome to the world of Professor Elemental. Sit down and I’ll brew you a nice hip hop number, stir in some comedy, then serve it with scones and a nice warm cuddle.

Who am I, you ask? I’m Professor Elemental, a unique and splendid hip-hop artist (though I say so myself). I host and perform at all kinds of shows, from Hip Hop gigs to burlesque, festivals to wedding parties. I also teach, as an experienced workshop leader with five years’ of experience. Yes, I’m a versatile chap who fits into a lot of places.

You can order my albums from this very site over at the Emporium, where you’ll also find some free downloads. And if you fancy coming along to see me live, then I’d be delighted if you could make it. There’s a list of upcoming gigs on this very page. Just scroll down.
If you want to find out more and maybe consider booking me, click to find out all about me.

Then pop on over here to see my latest misadventures and links to free stuff: News!

Other than that, thanks for dropping by. You look marvellous, by the way, and I love what you’ve done with your hair.

Professor Elemental

• • • MrTez
    • swindon
    • May 16, 2012 @ 10:30 AM

  • Methinks we have crossed wires good sir. I was enquiring as to the possibility of you having a performance near to Swindon scheduled already to which I may attend, though I am in the process of attempting to persuade MrsTez to allow me to make a booking for our upcoming nuptials. Whatever happened to the man of the house being key decision maker?

• • • Professor Elemental
    • in your face, but in a good way
    • May 16, 2012 @ 9:47 AM

  • Yes indeed sir, I'll be there in a mo. Drop me a line via the, erm, 'drop me a line' page and give me all the details....

• • • MrTez
    • Swindon
    • May 16, 2012 @ 9:37 AM

  • My good man would there be a possibility you are performing in a venue near Swindon soonish?

• • • Professor Elemental
    • All up in it
    • May 14, 2012 @ 4:38 PM

  • Mr D.V Yant- lovely to hear from you, you always were my favourite uncle. My ambition is very much to come to the land down under next year. I shall take your advice in good faith and keep my trousers at regulation length. Do let me know whenever you are in the proximity and we'll do tea and scones. Or scones filled with tea. Or mugs full of scones with tea on the top. One of those anyway.

• • • Drumbabe
    • Atlanta, GA
    • Apr 26, 2012 @ 8:52 PM

  • Would it be tacky to ask if you have a marching band arrangement for Fighting Trousers? I'm the manager of a VERY wacky, guerrilla street band based in Atlanta (www.seedandfeed.org). We've been around for 38 years and are always looking for new and fun music to play. Personally, I love your music and I the bass line in Fighting Trousers would be fabulous with trombones and tubas. It is such a fun song that I want to include it in our playlist. If you don't, would you be willing to write an arrangement or allow us to take a crack at it? Yours Abominably, Drumbabe Klang aka Katharine Chestnut

• • • Major D.V.Yant (Ret'ard)
    • Exeter, Devon
    • Apr 26, 2012 @ 3:06 PM

  • aah H2SO4 Professor, and the reciprocal of pi to your good lady. Don't synthesise anything I wouldn't synthesise. Great to hear about your new brain-o-matic enterprise & raising all those funds!Still having problems m'self with my project, thanks to Babbage's curse. Having just returned from our antipodean colonies, I stumble past your little site on my way back to the asylum, to notice that a few of our friends are inviting you over there. Lovely place, thoroughly recemend the place, I'm more than happy to walk round with a lapel pin, proudly proclaming that I am a "Pommie Barstad". But please be warned that when you are at your hostelry and first thing in the morning, when you are woken with a boiling hot, cracked, mug of steaming dark brown joy on your chest. You will be greeted with the legend "there ya go cobber, if yar don't want sugar, daan't stir it"! Also be careful of dress code. I, myself, was thrown out of the Melbourne cup for wearing my trousers too short.

• • • Professor Lascivous
    • Houston, in the New Amercias
    • Apr 25, 2012 @ 1:46 PM

  • Dear Professor Elemental,

    I noted your appearance in my neck of the woods for comicpalooza. Will you be about on a social outing or be preforming? Also Would you care for any teas to be brought to you while at the convention?

• • • Derek C. F. Pegritz
    • Southwestern Pennsylvania
    • Apr 22, 2012 @ 11:31 AM

  • Herr Professor,--

    I write in regard to your most splendid sound recording "The Indifference Engine," which has occupied the spindle of my phonograph for the past six weeks since I purchased it. Your elocution is admirable above all others; your versification, impeccable; and your rhythms, "stanky on the one" (as I have heard them described by fellow afficionados of the "hip hop"). A fine production! I eagerly await your next effort, and remain,

    Y'r servant, Derek C. F. Pegritz (known also as Cadwallader Smythe).

• • • Professor Elemental
    • Just over there
    • Mar 25, 2012 @ 4:04 AM

  • Sir, One NEVER has a badgermingo with chips. The feather and the batter just dont work. Badgermingo is more of a Sunday lunch. Not tht anyone would be so cruel as to eat such a fine creature. Not when there are so many swans just swimming round uneaten.

    love

    prof

• • • The Steam Chippy
    • London Metropolis
    • Mar 24, 2012 @ 4:29 AM

  • Dear Sir,

    Where might a find some good old Badgermingo severed with a side of chips?

    Yours Sincerely,

    The Steam Chip Man